I Am Very Busy and Important.

My name is Sophie Benjamin. I write words for money, music for love and lists because I am pretty absent-minded. I am usually very busy but ultimately not very important.
Fang us an email, luv.

permalink I’ve finished my five week-long stint at good old ABC Capricornia and am easing myself back into my real world of creative wank, overwork and inner-city latte sipping. Before I go back to Brisbane though, I’m house sitting for my best friend’s mum and looking after her three cats. This is the temporary office I’ve set up on the back deck. Sebastian the Persian cat is incredibly disgusted with my take-over of his usual sleeping spot. He is a jerk and if he’s not careful he’ll find himself locked in the dishwasher.
Among my many projects (because I am so busy and important, clearly), the Stuff The Stocking charity events are looking like they’re going to be the most fun. Click the link and show your support if you’re in the vicinity of one of them.

I’ve finished my five week-long stint at good old ABC Capricornia and am easing myself back into my real world of creative wank, overwork and inner-city latte sipping.
Before I go back to Brisbane though, I’m house sitting for my best friend’s mum and looking after her three cats.

This is the temporary office I’ve set up on the back deck. Sebastian the Persian cat is incredibly disgusted with my take-over of his usual sleeping spot. He is a jerk and if he’s not careful he’ll find himself locked in the dishwasher.

Among my many projects (because I am so busy and important, clearly), the Stuff The Stocking charity events are looking like they’re going to be the most fun. Click the link and show your support if you’re in the vicinity of one of them.

permalink YouTube comments on a video of me playing guitar. I like the high rating, the oddly high number of views, the obligatory “GRRLZ ROCKIN’ OUT” comment, and the fact that my messy room was not only commented on, but disagreed with.

YouTube comments on a video of me playing guitar.
I like the high rating, the oddly high number of views, the obligatory “GRRLZ ROCKIN’ OUT” comment, and the fact that my messy room was not only commented on, but disagreed with.

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Watching Miami Ink with my pal Big Will. He does not need symbolism attached to his tattoos.

  • Me: Will, you haven't gotten any new tatts in a while.
  • Big Will: Yeah I know, it's been almost a year. I'm going to book a sesh down in Brissie in December.
  • Me: Nice! What are you going to get?
  • Big Will: An eagle with two heads.
  • Me: Really? Why?
  • Big Will: Because I want it and it'll look cool.
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While it’s tempting to call them ‘baristi’ because of the Italian roots, the plural of ‘barista’ is ‘journalism majors.’
permalink Wow, I didn’t realise there was a market for this.
In other news, I just saw the video for Shakira’s new(ish) single Shewolf and it’s pretty much ruined my life.
Imagine if Beyonce was crap, latina, really slutty and having an epileptic fit in a closet that also happens to be a nightclub crossed with the inside of a vagina/colon. She does that for a while, before escaping to a rooftop that she dances on for a bit before she throws herself off, presumably the a consequence of having to record this song in two languages. If that’s not enough, this is all interspersed with footage of her wearing a flesh-coloured leotard while she has an asthma attack and flashes her crotch… in a cage. ‘Cause she’s a wolf… in a cage… symbolism..? Deep.

Wow, I didn’t realise there was a market for this.

In other news, I just saw the video for Shakira’s new(ish) single Shewolf and it’s pretty much ruined my life.

Imagine if Beyonce was crap, latina, really slutty and having an epileptic fit in a closet that also happens to be a nightclub crossed with the inside of a vagina/colon. She does that for a while, before escaping to a rooftop that she dances on for a bit before she throws herself off, presumably the a consequence of having to record this song in two languages. If that’s not enough, this is all interspersed with footage of her wearing a flesh-coloured leotard while she has an asthma attack and flashes her crotch… in a cage. ‘Cause she’s a wolf… in a cage… symbolism..? Deep.

permalink Every morning, a pair of rainbow lorikeets fly up to my family home in Emerald and drop their two fledgelings off, sort of like lorikeet daycare. They mostly sit snuggled up next to each other on the veranda architrave, but occasionally hop down to eat the seed and fruit my Mum puts out for them.
Cockatoos, galahs and lots of other birds drop by too, but they’re only there for the free food and don’t give the little lorikeets any trouble.

Every morning, a pair of rainbow lorikeets fly up to my family home in Emerald and drop their two fledgelings off, sort of like lorikeet daycare. They mostly sit snuggled up next to each other on the veranda architrave, but occasionally hop down to eat the seed and fruit my Mum puts out for them.

Cockatoos, galahs and lots of other birds drop by too, but they’re only there for the free food and don’t give the little lorikeets any trouble.

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Ring Ring #3

  • Me: Hello, ABC Capricornia!
  • Caller: Hi, I just wanted to let you know that someone has left their dog here at the *Small Town* pub last night.
  • Me: What? Really?!
  • Caller: Yeah, it's a Jack Russell in beautiful condition. If you could put that out over air that'd be great. Bye!
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Get money, get paid.

“Twelve minutes of pure injury,” is my friend’s description of a performance by her boyfriend’s hardcore band Downpour. They’re launching their demo at The Cave Bar and we’re here in support. One of the few venues supporting original live music in Rockhampton, it’s a small room at the back of a dive bar in the town’s CBD with cheap booze and no poker machines.

In proper D.I.Y. style, the demo was recorded mostly live by a friend, then burnt onto stenciled CD-Rs and housed in paper slip cases, meticulously put together by the band’s guitarist. Half the band work as orderlies at the Base Hospital, folding linen and cleaning up bodily fluids. The bass player works at Target and the drummer works for the railways.

“You know,” my friend continues, “sometimes I think that fuckheads turn up to these shows just to punch the fuck out of people.”

She’s probably right. Maybe it’s the weather, maybe it’s the culture or poverty of the town, but Rockhampton is an incredibly violent place. The latent anger bubbles to the surface in boozy punch ups, football games and road rage and yet music seems to be the least socially acceptable outlet for testosterone-fuelled rage.

Downpour start their set and the crowd is a seething mass of swinging punches and pile-ons. Mic leads are broken, glasses are lost and smaller dudes are steamrolled. The less adventurous punters climb onto the bar rail for safety and a clearer view as the seven-foot-tall singer fights his way into the audience, shoving his equally gigantic and mega-drunk mate Big Will away as he gets up in his face.

“Somebody take Big Will down! The man is out of control!”

Downpour blast into the next song and the crowd clambers up and onto Big Will, forcing him to the ground. This is the sort of violence and aggression where nobody gets hurt, the sort of violence that is fun and constructive. It’s the same stuff that drives career women to the gym, jocks to the footy field and puppies to shred the valuables of their owners.

As soon as the band finishes playing, one of the gig organisers grabs the mic.
“OI! Some cunts have snuck in here without paying! It’s only five bucks you stingy fucks, fucking pay up and support the scene or otherwise gigs like this won’t keep happening.”

He turns off the mic and puts an iPod on through the PA, leaving band and punters alike scratching their heads. Money? Nah. Nobody’s in this for the money.

For more Downpour, here’s their MySpace and a video of their song “BWS”.

Live photos by Luke Wonnocott, all others by me.

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Ring Ring #2.

  • Me: Hello, ABC Capricornia!
  • Caller: Hello. We got five mill of rain here at Biloela last night. Bye. *hangs up*
  • Me: ...
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Ring Ring.

  • Me: ABC Capricornia, Sophie speaking.
  • Old lady: Hello, I rang earlier today about a lost dog?
  • Me: *hesitantly*... yeeeees?
  • Old lady: Well, I found it. Just thought I'd let you know. *hangs up*
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Central Queensland career paths.

  • Me: Who were you on the phone to?
  • My sister: Tarret.
  • Me: Who the hell names their kid 'Tarret'?!
  • My sister: His parents are really rich, Soph. His mum is a professional gambler and his dad is a coal miner.
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Slow dooooowwwn...

“You’ll be so fast that Mother Nature will be like ‘Sloooooww dooowwwn’ and you’ll be like ‘FUCK YOU!’ and kick her in the face with your ENERGY LEGS!”
- ‘Powerthirst’ sketch video.

I think one of the best ways to make yourself unhappy is to focus on the things you haven’t got. For an overachiever like me, it’s not so much the things I haven’t got, but the things I haven’t done.

I’ve been trying to slow my life down and get healthy again over the past week or so, and it can get really discouraging when all I think is “FuckIhaven’tdoneuniorthatarticle&myparerentswillbeheretomorrow*breath* &Ihaven’tdonethewashinguporwrittenthosepressreleasesiwonderifmyfriendhatesme”
and so on and so forth.

This morning, I was feeling overwhelmed with a train of thought just like that one, when I realised I had showered (including hair wash, leg shave and moisturising), got dressed and blow-dried my hair, put laundry on, driven to the car wash and washed my car by hand, rang my family, got coffee, made breakfast and read the papers all by 10:30 on a Sunday morning.

Yep, that’s a pretty mundane and normal Sunday morning routine, but that’s what makes it an achievement. This time a week, fortnight or month ago I wouldn’t have been able to manage it for the amount of “thingsIhadtodoOHGOD.”

permalink See that stuff on my lip that looks like fungus or an STI? It’s not. It’s what happens when I bite and chew my lip uncontrollably as a result of anxiety - you can see the swelling around it. My teeth are already seriously damaged from years of grinding them (I’ve had them repaired twice already), and my dentist is mid-way through making me a custom-moulded splint so I don’t do any more damage to myself. I come from a happy upper-middle class family, where both my parents worked very hard to make life comfortable and happy for me and my siblings. They love me and I love them.That said, I can not remember a time in my life where I didn’t feel alone, isolated and hopeless about the world and my part in it for months at a time. It’s not a My Chemical Romance/I’m RLY SrS GUyZ I’M GOnnA KiLL MiSeLF!!11 high drama sort of feeling. It is a heavy creeping feeling of emptiness and futility. Showering, preparing food, answering the phone, driving my car, housework, seeing friends and the general business of life is too hard to conquer. I think the thing that scares me the most is its effect on my ability to enjoy music. I’ll pick up a guitar and strum idly on it before putting it down. The whole act feels about as enjoyable and mechanical as doing the washing up.
Before I got treatment, I’d suffered from stress-induced IBS, weight loss, weight gain, self-harm and ultimately depression for years. Earlier this year, I had come to the end of my tether and decided that if this was what the rest of my life was going to be like, I wanted no part of it. After a few poor decisions, I was prescribed medication by my lovely GP and got my life back. I mean, it wasn’t as simple as popping a pill and immediately loving life again - improving my diet, exercising and having understanding friends all played a part. It’s incredible to be able to appreciate sunlight, take risks and live life - not to mention being able to distinguish between a depressive episode and plain old laziness!
October is Beyond Blue’s Anxiety and Depression Awareness month. It’s all well and good to be aware of these things, but I think that fostering understanding would be more useful for everyone. Discourage presenteeism, encourage communities, light exercise, playing with dogs, and more importantly, just behaving compassionately.
“Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.” - Plato

See that stuff on my lip that looks like fungus or an STI? It’s not. It’s what happens when I bite and chew my lip uncontrollably as a result of anxiety - you can see the swelling around it. My teeth are already seriously damaged from years of grinding them (I’ve had them repaired twice already), and my dentist is mid-way through making me a custom-moulded splint so I don’t do any more damage to myself.

I come from a happy upper-middle class family, where both my parents worked very hard to make life comfortable and happy for me and my siblings. They love me and I love them.
That said, I can not remember a time in my life where I didn’t feel alone, isolated and hopeless about the world and my part in it for months at a time.

It’s not a My Chemical Romance/I’m RLY SrS GUyZ I’M GOnnA KiLL MiSeLF!!11 high drama sort of feeling. It is a heavy creeping feeling of emptiness and futility. Showering, preparing food, answering the phone, driving my car, housework, seeing friends and the general business of life is too hard to conquer.
I think the thing that scares me the most is its effect on my ability to enjoy music. I’ll pick up a guitar and strum idly on it before putting it down. The whole act feels about as enjoyable and mechanical as doing the washing up.

Before I got treatment, I’d suffered from stress-induced IBS, weight loss, weight gain, self-harm and ultimately depression for years. Earlier this year, I had come to the end of my tether and decided that if this was what the rest of my life was going to be like, I wanted no part of it. After a few poor decisions, I was prescribed medication by my lovely GP and got my life back. I mean, it wasn’t as simple as popping a pill and immediately loving life again - improving my diet, exercising and having understanding friends all played a part. It’s incredible to be able to appreciate sunlight, take risks and live life - not to mention being able to distinguish between a depressive episode and plain old laziness!

October is Beyond Blue’s Anxiety and Depression Awareness month. It’s all well and good to be aware of these things, but I think that fostering understanding would be more useful for everyone. Discourage presenteeism, encourage communities, light exercise, playing with dogs, and more importantly, just behaving compassionately.

“Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.” - Plato